Fear - concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.
I had the opportunity to be part of something really cool last week. Kent will be sharing more information on that in the next few days.
During that adventure, I was asked what my fears were. More specifically, I was asked what my fears were about having a son with autism.
Where do I start… I thought. There’s an abundance of them, and my fears around that could easily fill my 60G hard drive.
I think the majority of us have some sense of unity in the fears that occupy our mind. I often wonder how things will turn out for Mason long term, and how much control if any, I have over his path in life.
I, like Rashele, am very involved and hands on with Mason every day. So I know that my presence will have some influences on him long term. But that uncertainty, that I’m sure all parents feel, even those with children without special needs, can at many times be completely overwhelming.
As this school year ends, he’s completing his time in our school district’s program for children with disabilities. In the upcoming school year he’ll be entering kindergarten at a new school, and will be mainstreamed part of the day. I fear the adjustment period to the new school, though knowing Mason he’ll take it in stride and will be a non-issue for him. I worry about social situations with his new classmates, as I don’t know how he’ll be accepted into their social circles. Kids smell fear and sometimes I think Mason’s overtly shy personality may be mistaken for aloofness, or a disinterest in friendship. I don’t want that to evolve into him being the victim of bullies or being poked fun at.
Everyday brings a new fear or the rebirth of an old one it seems, be it bullies at school, draining finances, long term relationships, short term friendships.
I sometimes even fear where the bail money will come from if Rashele punches out the next person that gives her a dirty look when Mason has a meltdown in public…remind me to tell you the airport story sometime.
She’s fierce.
I’ll just file these autism fears away and deal with them just like I deal with my Coulrophobia.
I’ll get over it, in time.
An Oral Motor Therapy session - Mason's 15 minutes of fame. Click the link below.
Just Add Water
A PT Christmas present
The Fisher Price Smart Cycle. Since Mason is so obsessive about video games, I thought this was a great way to get some extra physical therapy in. So far it has worked beautifully. He rides/plays it about 2 hours a day.
All of us
One of the rare occasions that we're all in the same place at the same time, with a camera handy
1 comment:
I guess I have been a "lurking" on your blog for awhile. My husband and I are parents of twin 4 yr old boys with Autism. I enjoy reading about the adorable Mason, as he reminds me so much of my boys!
Anyway, I felt the need to comment on your post since "Fear" is about the most common thing we as parents of special children face. Like your wife, I am fierce about anyone staring at my boys when they have a meltdown....BUT my husband is even worse. Just this past weekend, one of my boys had a meltdown in Target...Well one woman kept staring and shaking her head. My husband marched right up to her (he's 6'7" by the way) and calmy said, "My son has Autism, and if you'd like to stare, maybe you need to educate yourself about it. One day, you will most likely have someone close to you be diagnosed with it." The woman just put her head down and walked away. So mark that one small victory for all of us parents, and our beautiful little angels:) Our fear is what will make this world a better place for our kids...we'll just keep fighting, one ignorant person at a time.
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