We learned in the last couple of weeks that two couples, both very close to us have decided to go their separate ways ending their long term relationships. One is a divorce, and the other a breakup. (autism isn’t in either relationship)
One caught me off guard, and the other shocked me, but didn’t completely surprise me.
Ironically the news of the splits came just as Rashele and I celebrated our 9th anniversary by sniffing the fumes as we painted Mason’s room, and our study.
No romance
No cards
No presents
Just a simple Happy Anniversary wish to each other and a kiss and we were good.
In the not so recent past the lack of doing anything special would’ve bothered me, I’m the type that likes to make a big deal of special occasions. If we didn’t celebrate it, it was as if the meaning behind the occasion was unimportant, or had little value.
The split-ups made both of sit back and take stock of things and have long talks in bed over the course of a few nights. We recognized that many times we’ve neglected each other’s needs in lieu of meeting our own, or neglected each other to meet Mason’s needs or our other children.
Thankfully, after many attempts to be more conscious of it, we’ve both made improvements. This has taken a long time and while it would be great to fix it in the course of a a couple of days, or weeks, it needs consistency over months, and years.
We never miss an opportunity for a date night.
In the grand scheme of things amidst the chaos that is our life I like knowing that outside of autism, being a father, and such that I matter, and she does too.
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5 comments:
Happy belated anniversary! You have a handsome family and I enjoy reading your blog. You have a great way with words.
We have a Mason too!
Thanks Stephanie!
Mason is becoming more common of a name we've found.
My wife's late Grandfather's name was Mason, so we chose it for him to carry it on. It's a great name.
How did you find my blog? (I'm always curious) ;o)
Joey
Hi, I found you through another Autism blog I read. My son, who is 6 has Autism.
It hasn't been easy on my marriage either.
No doubt Kristi. It's been tough, but we're managing well. We've gotten better about it and still have our moments where we fail miserably but we're hanging in there.
People should read this.
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